Sitting outside naked on a dark dark night. Literally nothing to constrict me, neither physically or mentally. As we sit and talk about the stars and night sailing, we both happen to look down when we see the glowing form of a sting ray. In unison we cry “oooooooo!” We see another form of a sting ray. It’s probably the pair that we’ve seen the last few times we went snorkelling here. How great to know that they think this island is the best too. Both the stingrays and us can explore whatever part of the ocean we want, yet we’ve settled here for now.
Sailing into Kuna Yala as the sunrises is a sight for sore eyes. The ocean is dotted with islands covered in palm trees. The wind waves their branches as if to welcome us into their gorgeous home. The yellow, orange and red of the sun rising is breathtaking and neither of us spoke as we welcomed the day in our own spiritual way.
We have no passengers so it truly is paradise. We are no longer slaves to the kitchen, entertaining people or praying to the rain gods that it doesn’t rain since our bed is outside. We have our home all to ourselves again and our cosy bed indoors. We decide when we eat, when we sleep, when we work around the boat and when we swim with the fish. It’s our time.
We’ve lived together for a year and a half and know our rhythms very well. When to leave the other in peace, when it’s OK to talk, how to handle the other person if they aren’t in a good mood. No relationship is perfect, but I can’t help but be grateful I have a near perfect one and that we get to share it outside the worries of the rat race and in such a beautiful place.
It’s not only the surroundings that are paradise. I have found my internal paradise. In the last month we have had challenging times for various reasons as well as good times. Through the challenges I kept my peace. I found a way to deal with passengers who have a different way of thinking. I threw it back on them and retreated into my own peace. My physical body has been heavy as I haven’t been eating the foods it most agrees with. I recognise this as something I can change and that will change and let it go. I don’t let feelings of nausea or bloating ruin my paradise.
How did I arrive in this paradise? I took risks and followed my heart. It was outside of the conventional norm, but that norm never felt right. What feels right is a life on the sea sharing it with someone who appreciates the beauty of nature as much as me. I questioned my negative way of thinking, my old patterns and came up with challenges on how to think differently which in turn allows me to look at life differently. I take time and listen to the universe. I don’t rush, cram things in or expect anything of anyone or even myself. I allow myself to be in the moment, whether it’s comfortable or uncomfortable.
So here I am in total paradise. It’s taken a lifetime of work and a lifetime more as I aim to improve myself day after day. All I know is that it’s worth the fight and I wouldn’t choose any other life than mine.