I remember the days when I used to be so annoyed I wasn’t born a man. I mean, think about it, they don’t get periods, menopause or have to worry about make up and hair or looking the best to get a husband (I’m writing from a heterosexual point of view). They don’t have this “biological clock” that will supposedly tick in me one day. They don’t have the pain of child birth or having to stay home and care for the children. In fact, they get to roam free, married with children or divorced with children! Being childless, I can only speculate, but to me it appears that the maternal instinct means women are less inclined to have a life separate from their children forever. That’s the number one reason I am too damn scared to have children.
As I get older and view the male species in a different way than when I thought the point of life was hunting for a man to make a little tribe, I saw the error in my ways. I will take all of that stuff and more to be a woman!! Men do not have it easy.
The real turning point for me was when I was travelling. I had met the most hilarious woman who has the most incredible views on life and has taught me more in our short time of travelling together than I will ever learn in my life. I was complaining about the machoism of these Latin American men who insist on carrying my backpack for me. I mean how freaking rude right?? I’m not some fragile little woman. My Dad taught me to only pack what I could carry, so I did!! I was so grateful not to be born in this country because how awful would it be to grow up never having to lift my bag?!?! In her gentle humorous manner, she offered me her point of view. “Yeah, I understand. They are pretty macho here, but the way I look at it, is that I know I can carry my bag. Men feel good when they carry my bag because it makes them feel useful. I don’t need them to know I can carry my bag, so I just say thank you and save my back. That way I’m happy and their happy and we’re all just happy.” Brilliant!!
So with this enlightenment, I went through the rest of Central America allowing men to carry my bag. I got so used to it, that I would comfortably find my seat on the sometimes three to four buses I would need to take to get to my next destination, without checking for my bag which always magically followed. You see, the people here are great. I tell them where I’m going and then I have at least one person who taps me on the shoulder to get off when I need to transfer, while another points out my bag for someone else to carry it to the next bus. What a brilliant system. I was exposed to the life of a princess!! Well, a princess in chicken buses that is…
But I’m going off track here, that’s point one. If you’re handicapped or weak as a man, you’re screwed. Half of the female pool has just disregarded you. Not to mention you always need to be aware of a solo women with heavy cargo. I walk through life in my own dream world not noticing there are people until I run into someone or they talk to me! I couldn’t imagine having to look at everyone and then doing something for them. Ugh!!!!
Point two, money. That evil word, oh how I hate it!!! As a woman, the amount of money you earn doesn’t matter to anyone but yourself. If you make a lot, men are intimidated and other women think you slept your way to the top. That’s why I figured it would be easier to be a sailing escort (no sex included). I make no salary, but I am fed, watered and housed. Doing this as a man??? Well, you’re judged. You’re a failure, a loser, a disgrace to humanity and 95% of the female population will turn their nose up at you. What a stressful situation having to always perform and be the best and be smart! Some people just aren’t and if you’re a man, that’s a problem. It’s cute and sweet if you’re a woman!
Point three, eternal bodyguard. I think this is the most difficult one. Men are not allowed to be scared, back away or hide behind anyone. They’re the ones that we women have the privilege of hiding behind!! What a hard job! I’ll never forget one of my travel romances telling me how difficult it was to be a man. He explained how in the morning when we decided what to do, he had to think about what shoes to wear. He wanted to wear flip flops, but thought maybe he should wear tennis shoes in case someone stole my handbag and he had to chase them. True story. I said I was glad I was me and not him. He’s right, I would’ve expected him to run and thought he was my knight in shining armour when he came back sweating, beat up and bloody with my handbag. How romantic! Luckily this never aspired. When I wake up, I think about what underwear to wear. That’s eliminated if I’m single. No stress there!!
All jokes aside, being human is difficult. From a yogi perspective, we all have this crazy monkey called the mind that we need to still. As a gender perspective, each gender has it’s pros and cons. From my perspective, I just like to look at everyone’s perspective and find the good so I can go through my day laughing and smiling. I appreciate that many men work so hard to make my life comfortable, like I’m sure many appreciate that I help them feel good. I’m going to keep on letting those men carry my bags, open doors and pay for dinners and wine for no other reason than we both enjoy the roles we play in this world to make life that little bit easier for everyone.