I was reading my favourite blogger’s latest entry when a cheeky mood creeped over me. He talked about loneliness. Well, we all know I’m having that problem too, so I sent him a comment about it being a shame we were oceans apart. He’s a sailor too. We had a comment conversation back and forth and then shit got real. He private messaged me and asked how serious I was.
Let me rewind four months. I wrote my first blog entry, he was the first to comment. I was totally new to this whole blogging thing, so I looked at his site, saw photos and read some of his entries. I thought “wow, we think alike!” Then reading his about page, “oh my god, he’s around the same age as me!” Then I saw his photo and my eyebrow turned up. “Quite sexy!”
I stalked to see if he was sailing with someone, I discovered he wasn’t. I thought, should I send a message?? I looked over at Captain Cool, we’d just had a month apart and lots of things changed for the better, so I was all loved up and let the moment pass. I’m human after all, there’s no harm in looking!
I followed the sailor’s blog and always felt a connection. When things got difficult, he sat there deep down in the back of my head, giving me comfort there was someone else out there like me.
Back to the present day. We both like the idea of being on the same boat, I don’t like the idea of going pretty much to Canada. It’s cold!!!! I’m a little afraid of having a bucket as a toilet on a 22′ boat. But it’s a tempting offer and he lit a spark in my soul the first time he contacted me, so there must be some reason our paths are crossing, right?
Friends are telling me to just do it. Follow your heart! What do you have to lose? Well, my heart is a bit confused right now because things have been changing so rapidly recently, so I need some time.
I went on a sail today with a different captain in the marina. It was great! My soul opened and danced as it always does when those sails go up. The boat was the biggest I’ve ever sailed and super smooth. A 58 foot Camper and Nicholson, a Rolls Royce of a boat. I spent three days cleaning the inside and the hull so she ran extra beautiful. What a great reward after all the work!!
Anyway, I sat in the bow on the best bow perch ever and chatted with the sea. I asked for guidance on what to do. She said I should go, but not just yet. I want to go to Cuba, I’ve almost been two times, I don’t want to miss it again! Plus there could be drastic changes happening in the next year and I want to see how it is now as it sounds so amazing.
Then I got to thinking about how beautiful my life is. My friends say they admire me and I’m brave and strong. Yeah, I guess I am. I just closed a door because I knew it wasn’t serving me anymore and that was hard and scary. But look what happened. Another opportunity arose, almost immediately. I’m not saying I will take it and if I do, it could be wonderful, disastrous or somewhere in between, but if I was still halfway in the doorway, I never would’ve sent that message.
Life is always teaching me these important lessons and I’m glad I’m learning and very quickly.
In a week, a world of opportunity has opened up to me and it was simply because I stepped through that door and closed it. Now there are various open doors for me to try. All of that fear, all of my tears, all my sad emotions are worth having and overcoming because my life just gets more and more beautiful. Simply because I have no expectations, no plans and no responsibilities. I simply have to follow my heart. I wouldn’t dream of living any other way.